During this crisis I find myself beautifully lost within the creative flow as time lends itself to me.
Those closest to me are huddled around their televisions or phones, which only highlights the state of our world and projects them further into a worrisome state. I can feel the tension hidden underneath the surface as they try to distract themselves with hobbies, movies, or reading a long forgotten book. Conversations on the phone with others always lead back to the state of the world and whether or not it’s gone to hell. The end times are here, or something like that. I suppose I’ve always imagined a lot more fire and chaos but that could be my imagination. I am an artist after all. Some of us can aggrandize. But my rebellion at this attempt of controlling my time through fear or manipulation is a silent one.
The questions of the day loop on repeat as I smile and offer advice or a momentary conversation about something positive to ease their burdens before disappearing into my art studio.
“When will I work again?”
“Is school closed for good this year?”
“I’m worried about money. How will I pay these bills?”
“This cough doesn’t sound good. Do you think I’m sick?”
“Are we heading for the end days?”
These questions, and many more, are plaguing the minds of humanity across the globe — yet somehow I’m in paradise.
Should I feel guilty about this?
It feels like the first time I climbed to the top of a looming pine tree in my childhood yard and howled at the world below. The crows were afraid and scattered to the grass beneath me, cawing as I invaded their territory. I was a giant and nothing could stop me, Queen of the Crows.
“Look at me world! I’m all alone up here and it’s beautiful! Caw caw!”
I remember vividly sitting atop that tree for hours whilst everyone kept bugging me to come down. No one climbed up after me that time and I just hung out there as they sauntered away out of boredom. The world seemed so big, yet so small back then.
Please don’t mistake my own thoughts or feelings on the subject of this virus as selfish or dismissive. It’s not like that at all. On the contrary, I find myself restless if I spend too much time focusing on the worlds situation instead of creating something that brings beauty into this darkness. This creative energy is fueled around hope for the future of humanity and a knowing in my heart that everything will be alright.
Bob Marley himself didn’t take a day off did he? He continued to create despite the setbacks of darkness that tried to claim him. Perhaps that’s the true virus of the creator — a need to create like it’s the very air we breathe. This is our battle as warriors of paint and prose.
Light up the darkness. — Bob Marley
Normally life is full of distractions or daily routines which inhibit my need to create. I’ve perfectly chiseled out a schedule in my normal work/daily life and made a perfect time to be creative. (I’m beginning to hate that idea.)
The more time spent finishing everything else before creative time allows has gone belly-up. I feel giddy. My heart grows warm at the prospect of burying myself in paper, canvas, paint and pencil shavings for hours.
Honestly, I just don’t care that the time has shifted this way. It’s provided me with an opportunity to dive deeper into my process and even accomplish the many artistic goals that were being pushed aside — including creating a website I promised to myself over a decade ago.
This hermit state is shining a light on the issue of who we are and what it means to be human. By going within we’re all faced with the real question: What is my purpose?
Mine is to create and I get to fulfill that purpose as I lose myself in passionate revelation during these testing times. I think we all deserve that right now, a little passion.
If not, maybe climb a tree? That always helped me.
I think it’s time to disappear again…
Come fetch me from my studio when it’s over so I can share with the world my wonderful creations. Until then, let passion be your ocean in these times my friends. Dive deep and find the hidden treasures of your heart. That is where hope resides.